


Christmas Spirit

by septiplier500



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Youtube RPF
Genre: Christmas, Christmas tree shopping, M/M, sex puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 07:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8615530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/septiplier500/pseuds/septiplier500
Summary: Jack wants a REAL tree, thank you very much.





	

“I want a _real_ tree,” Jack whines, shoving his hands deeper in his hoodie pockets as he surveys the man-made counterparts crowding the Christmas aisle. “The ones that drip sap and pine needles n’ shit. S'not Christmas if you don’t make a mess.”

“I had a real one last year,” Mark says dubiously, circling a tall, slender tree with built-in white lights, “And Chica peed on it, constantly.”

Jack scowls at the plastic affront to nature. “If you buy one of these crappy things, _I’ll_ pee on it.”

“What you and the tree get up to when I’m not home is your business,” says Mark amicably.

“It’ll reek,” Jack warns, only half joking. They’ve got the house to themselves now, plus Chica, and Jack’s been feeling particularly homesick without the distraction of friends stomping around at all hours. It’s his first full holiday season across the pond, and he’s not settling for ugly plastic imitations. “I’ll piss in your shoes,” he adds mutinously.

“I’ll just have to send you to obedience classes,” says Mark, moving to study a shorter, fatter tree without lights. Its branches are few and far between, making it look both round and sparse at once.

“ _Mark_ ,” Jack groans, dropping his hands from his pockets and tugging at Mark’s flannel overshirt, “C'mon. These trees _suck_.”

“This one has potential,” Mark insists, but he shifts his arm to slip one of his hands over Jack’s. Their fingers fumble for a second before settling in an awkward, slightly sweaty embrace, and Jack’s ears go pink even if he feigns being casual. “You really want a smelly, drippy tree?” Mark asks, glancing at Jack from the corner of his glasses-clad gaze. He’s not really teasing anymore.

“I mean,” starts Jack, rocking on his heels to work off some of the energy thrumming through his skinny frame, “Yeah, like. It’ll be my first Christmas here. Wit’ _you_ , and all that. S'kinda special.”

Mark’s grin is boyishly crooked. “Plastic can be special.”

“Maybe if it vibrates,” says Jack, impulsive and sniggering at his own pervishness.

Mark laughs, and it’s like a warm hand down Jack’s spine. “Gross,” he giggles breathlessly, as though they don’t have an assembly of toys in their bedside table (and likely beneath the bed, accidentally kicked and left to gather dust.) “ _A Christmas tree butt plug_ ,” he blurts, cracking up again at the imagery.

Jack beams, toes wriggling inside his sneakers. “For a little extra Christmas spirit,” he crows, and even though none of it’s funny, they’re both in absolute stitches, garnering confused and irate glances from other shoppers. The shoppers that weren’t already squinting and trying to figure out why they were recognizable, anyway. They’d only been stopped twice so far for selfies, an advantage to driving outside of the city to shop.

“Okay, okay,” Mark breathes, still giggling as he wipes at his eyes, “We can get a real tree. But don’t–” he breaks off, gasping out his laughter, “–try to put it in your butt.”

**Author's Note:**

> Rebloggable version on Tumblr: http://septiplier500.tumblr.com/post/153326725562/christmas-spirit (Maybe give my blog a look and consider following, eh?) 
> 
> If you liked this fic, feel free to toss me a prompt on Tumblr!


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